I have had the title of this post play in my head for about a year now, I don’t know where it stemmed from or why, and I’m one to constantly overthink everything and let’s just say this phrase is very unhealthy for someone like me.

I was going to keep stalling my truth, I was going to keep sharing words that resonate with me on my Instagram some of which are by me while others look exactly like my thoughts. And then I found grace’s post on THE UNTOLD STORY OF AN EXTROVERT and it almost brought me to tears. I could easily have named that post the untold story of desola mako. I don’t quite agree with her points being linked to extroverts, because I like to consider myself an ambivert. I think it’s just so much so the reality of those who do not stay silent and I’m happy this post is right in time with the Time person of the year cover of The Silence Breakers (those who speak up).

Take a walk with me as I tell you the story of the girl no one ever chooses.
She’s misunderstood, she’s an over thinker, she’s sad, she is depressed, she gets anxiety attacks and she’s always lonely.
She’s your friend, the one that shows up for you, the one that snaps you out of regret and helps you justify your wrongs, she’s the one you run to for money, the one you ask for advice when you are confused, she’s the one you can trust your man with because you know she has values.
She’s the girl you owe all the time, the one you feel owes you because she shows up, she’s the one in your corner, she’s your advocate, the one that fights for you, tells it as it is and splits her comfort so you can be comfortable, she even sometimes sleeps on the floor so you can have the bed.
She’s also the girl you never think twice about betraying! She’s the one you don’t ask about her feelings because she shows strength every time, the one you mistreat because she doesn’t complain, the one you compete with because you can’t help it and the one whose strength works for you but gets put in question when it’s against you.
She’s the Voltron you love but she’s the judge you hate when you are at the end of her truth, she’s cool enough to hang around and she’s sweet enough to bring all her friends together, but she will steal your shine amongst your other friends so she never gets invited to your own hangouts, she’s not the girl that complains so she smiles even though her heartbreaks, she’s the girl who sees all this and still shows up to help you behind the curtains, but never gets a frow seat at your life. She’s the girl who indirectly funds your bad habits because she’s to blind to see it.
See this girl is in no way perfect, she’s scared, broken, angry, unhappy, alone, tired, pissed, dark and cold.
She’s the girl you don’t choose and she’s the girl no one chooses and I am her.

See I’m in tears as I share my truth because life as this girl is hard. This girl is so tired. This girl thinks of people’s actions towards her and questions her worth. This girl is whole all by herself but everything still hurts.

This girl wants to scream so hard but doesn’t want to come off as an ass or a nag.
This girl understands that nobody owes her, so she toughens up, this girl understand that these experiences have been the one that made her her.

She knows it. Yet this girl is just tired.

…And this girl however rear exists in different versions, this girl is losing all her good and housing so much anger because of the world around her.

Still I want to remind her, that she was made that way, she was made to help, to love and to care. And that people’s actions towards her is not a reflection of her. I want her to know that in a word were people don’t choose her, she can choose herself.

I want her to recognize her strength. I want her to remember that she is not like them and she can be imperfect, I want her to live a little, learn to say no, have fun and live selfishly.

I want her to know that her conscience is hers to control and not the other way round.

And I want her to always remember that what she has mastered through loneliness, disappointment and tears are what makes up the woman that she is and the wisdom she has beyond her age.

If you are her, keep choosing yourself until someone chooses you. You are worth fighting for don’t over think that, It’s a FACT.


  1. Dear Desola.

    I'm in tears right now because this speaks to me on so many levels. I have several recordings on my phone, on which I wondered aloud why no one chooses me first even when I go all out for them.
    I read Grace Alex's post this morning and now yours. I've been in deep thought all day, yesterday. I'm that girl who wants to help and spread love to the people around her, whether they deserve it or not. I mean that's what Jesus would do. I've faced so much rejection this past year, I practically have no one to talk to about it. I've also questioned my self worth so many times at some point. I understand that I'm beautiful and strong and that all of this is only the clay that would mold me into the amazing woman I'm meant to be but, I'm just tired as you have rightly said.
    I will keep choosing me, everytime and it doesn't matter if no one chooses me eventually. God loves me all the same and that is all that matters.
    P.s. I'm sorry this is quite lengthy. This is the first time anyone has been able to put my feelings into words.
    God bless you for this. You inspire me.

  2. Thanks for sharing this. I'm her too and this- "life as this girl is hard. This girl is so tired. This girl thinks of people’s actions towards her and questions her worth. This girl is whole all by herself but everything still hurts." Sums me up right now.

  3. Awwwwwww! This is soooooo meeeeeeee! Sending you a 1001 hugs (wish I could do more though). Thanks for being an advocate for the "GIRL NO ONE CHOOSES". I heart you Desola Audrey Mako ♥ ♥ ♥
    I promise I'm not a sociopath 😂😂😂😂😂


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